February 2012
29 posts
Cycle 3 - Day 2
Today has been much better. The second drug infusion finished at about 3:30pm and I’m now just subject to blood tests, blood pressure and an ECG. Tomorrow morning I’ll be a free woman once more - and with hopefully a better understanding on where I go from here. Fingers crossed.
Cycle 3 - Day 1
Technically it’s Wednesday but in my mind I’m still living today - being Tuesday. It’s been a long and exhausting one with many ups and downs. I arrived nice and early and kicked off the day with a micro-bubbles ultrasound. Having the cannula put in was sore but for the first time in a long time I got through it without tears!
I had a long conversation with the doctor regarding...
The Unknown
Another long day. Bloods, consultation and an echocardiogram at St Georges…all of which went relatively well. I’ve asked the doc who’s in charge of my trial for some specifics on the scans from last week. Hopefully the radiologist can take a look at my previous 2 scans and do a comparison in tumour growth pre-drug and post-drug. I’d like to know so that I can make a more...
A Sense of Wonder
I’ve been up most of the night sobbing my soul out. I haven’t cried like that in quite a while… despite my eyelids looking like they’ve had a chilli rubbed under them, I feel a bit better for it… I think?
Most, if not all of the time, I feel like an alien drifting around in my own bubble, I’ve said it a million times before and I’m really reeeeally tired...
Trial Update
Just a brief update - the hospital rang yesterday and have booked me in on Monday to see one of the docs about my scan results. They’ll go over the details, I’ll have more blood tests & a contrast injected ultrasound, and then I’ll get a taxi over to St Georges in the afternoon for another echo scan and consult with the heart professor. If everything is good to go, I’ll...
Marble Arch - Arc de Triomphe →
Rich and two of his mates, Rob and Tom, are - MAD! Their plan? to cycle from Marble Arch (London) to Arc de Triomphe (Paris) in 24hrs. They plan to set out on Friday 27th April, taking a late night ferry from Dover - Calais where they’ll continue their ride throughout the night and into Saturday before reaching their destination in just 24hrs. Hopefully! …don’t worry boys, I have...
Glass Half Full!
Where to start?
Yesterday was Tuesday - it was a typical 9-5 day at the office… I had bloods taken in the morning, an examination by the doctor and a brief consultation. In the afternoon I had a CT scan and rounded off the day with an MRI.
Monday was a BAD day. I was so depressed that I couldn’t do anything. When I’m in this state of mind I worry and beat myself up about...
Something Special
About 5/6 years ago, one of my best friends bought me the book Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder. A couple of weeks ago he reminded me about it, and this weekend I managed to find it in amongst all my books in the loft… so I started reading it for a second time. It’s a pretty amazing book of philosophy. As I began reading, I recalled the moment I read a particular paragraph 5/6...
Return of the Pain
It was nice to be free of pain just after my first cycle of the trial drug. But over the last week, the shoulder pain I was originally experiencing pre-treatment, on the right side, has returned…with a vengeance. It’s what’s keeping me awake at night and is the reason why I feel so tired in the day time. I just want it to go away! when it’s here, it’s relentless.
I...
This morning's blog post, re-posted and now...
- the following got deleted earlier, but here it is again. It’s not often I get on my high-horse about social media or politics (never politics!) on my blog, because that’s not the point. But I couldn’t let this one slide…
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I caught the end of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings the other night. I wish I hadn’t - seeing as it’s sensationalist crap like every other...
You don't know until you try...
What a day.
It’s always a bad idea to put mascara on when it’s a hospital day… but I always do in the hope that it will encourage me NOT to cry. Alas, at this moment in time I resemble a beaten panda.
The cannula I needed for the ultrasound just wouldn’t go in. My veins have officially had it. They’re super hard, super sore and super stubborn…and I’ve had enough....
Fatigue.
Zzz… I seem to be falling asleep at any given moment over the last few days. I’m either totally exhausted or really quite bored! What ever it is, it’s annoying.
I guess what I’ve learned since I’ve been traveling up to the Marsden for treatments, scans and consultations - is that I’m really quite hard on myself. I push myself to the limit physically and...
I'm Home! and a bit about Hospice & Marathon's...
Thank you everyone for your texts and emails and general messages of support. I’m finally home! In 11.5 minutes I can take down my holter monitor and SHOWER. The excitement overwhelms me! …I requested that I came home with one cannula still in tact. That way I won’t have to go through it all again tomorrow - if it decides to give blood of course.
For now, I enjoy peaceful times....
Cycle 2 - Day 2
The last 24 hrs haven’t been without drama…
My original bloods cannula gave up the ghost at about 8pm last night. It was so sore being tugged in all directions - the nurses had to move it about incase it was sat on a valve. They tried to get blood from it, tugging it, hanging upside down, heat packs, Tourniquets, syringe pumping, the works. In the end I had a fat wrist where the...
Cycle 2 - Day 1
I was sat in day-care this morning with my arms elbow deep in buckets of warm water. Having enticed my veins to the surface I was cannulated in both arms. I cried, of course. It was traumatic, but once over I was relieved.
Treatment drug no.1 was infused at about 2pm - but due to pain in the vein, it had to be stopped, 3 times. My poor veins have taken such a beating…We finally got there...
High's & Low's
Apologies again to those who have been asking how things are going. I was in Bournemouth this weekend and I’ve actually been feeling a bit out of sorts the last few days. I haven’t been sleeping at all well in the last few months and the deprivation is starting to catch up with me. Despite feeling exhausted, anxiety and an over active mind is keeping me awake at night. The docs asked...
Doing All Right
I was almost jumping off of the table when the doc started pushing on my belly and my right side. My liver scar is big, it split open just after the surgery due to infection. It re-healed wider and deeper and has since split open and been packed twice due to the infected abscesses I had last spring. Because of its enormity, the nerves in the surrounding skin have been pretty much destroyed. I have...
Lucy's Marathon Mission →
My beautiful friend Lucy is going to run the Brighton Marathon in April. She is running in the hope of raising lots of money for the incredible Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice. They have supported and nursed me over the last two years and continue to do so every week. The Phyllis Tuckwell rely heavily on charitable donations, only 12% of their funding is from the NHS…and it costs £15,000 a day to...
