January 2012
43 posts
1st Jan 2012
Hopeful New Year x
December 2011
33 posts
Au Revoir 2011
This time last year, we had high hopes that I’d beaten my cancer. I was recovering from three major operations and I’d had months of grueling chemotherapy. When I received the news in January 2011 that the cancer had returned to my liver and spread to both of my lungs, my happy new year instantly changed into complete devastation.
2011 has been a year in which I’ve tried to...
What do you care what other people think?
At the ‘Night of 2 Billion Stars’ (I posted about just over a week ago), Robin Ince read out a piece from one of Richard Feynman’s books. I’m not sure if Tom noticed, but I shed a few tears… I thought it was beautiful.
Since then, I got my hands on a copy of Feynman’s book ‘What do you care what other people think?’ and had read it over Christmas. I...
Am I real?
Learning about reality screws with the mind! I hope there’s life out there in deepest darkest space watching us all and wondering - what the hell are they all doing? it really all is, quite bizarre.
Merry Christmas
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas - cherish moments with the people you love the most… and to those who have spent today in hospital or hospice, you’ve been very much in my thoughts. I wish nothing else but good health to all.
Have a super day everyone x
Charlie
Charlie is my 17, soon to be 18 year old brother. He’s one of my best friends and the way he has found methods of coping over the last two years is just amazing. I wanted to share something he wrote recently about Christmas, because I think it perfectly summaries how all of our family are feeling about this time of year. In situations such as ours, happiness can often lead to great sadness -...
It's never good.
This post will probably sound a bit all over the place, my head hurts after a long day.
5 hours at the Marsden. CT scan, X-Ray and Ultrasound. The cannula into the vein was painful, really really painful. Receiving the iodine through the cannula and into the vein was also painful, it burnt and stung and I shed a tear. I felt relief when the CT was over…and an overwhelming sense of...
Zombie.
Thanks to everyone involved for a fantastic weekend. The Cosmic Snowball was a great success, a generous crowd with lots of donations for the Phyllis Tuckwell and Samaritans. I haven’t danced in high heels for the last two years… today I can confirm that this weekend has left me feeling completely exhausted! BUT, the late night dancing and 3am fry-up was worth it for the fun I’ve...
Brighhhhttoooonnnnn
YES!
Consented.
Yesterday I signed all the necessary paperwork consenting to being part of the drug trial starting on January 10th. I will have a CT scan next Wednesday (the first scan since September) and they’ve said they’ll ring straight away with the verdict. Whether or not I proceed with the treatment plan will depend on my scan results. If the cancer has spread back to my bowel, there is a...
Uncaged Monkeys: Night of 200 Billion Stars
Thank you Tom for my Xmas present!!…I’ve had a fantastically inspiring evening at the Hammersmith Apollo and I’ve finally heard Brian Cox give a lecture on just how wonderful the universe is… Tonight has been a mix of science, comedy and music - starring Brian Cox, Ben Goldacre (woo!), Robin Ince, Adam Rutherford, Simon Singh and Tim Minchin!! What an awesome way to end the...
Tomorrow.
Off to the Marsden tomorrow, I’ll be given all the necessary forms to consent to the trial treatment. I’m not sure how I feel about it really, just numb.
I was awake all night worrying about the fact that I’ve been finding it a bit difficult to breathe properly over the last month. It feels like a wheezy chest but obviously I can’t help but think of my lungs and wonder...
Last Christmas
I can’t help but wonder if it will be…I hope it’s not.
What's the answer?
On Wednesday the hospital called to confirm my appointment next week in which I will be asked to consent to the drug trial. They also wanted to go through a schedule of events - a CT scan on the 21st and an MRI on the 5th before starting treatment on the 10th January 2012. I found the conversation pretty overwhelming. Treatment is given every 3 weeks. On the first week of each cycle I would be...
Da Vinci, Judith & Jessica
I’ve had such an amazing day! Judith and I met online via the Beating Bowel Cancer Facebook page at the start of the year. At that time we were both coming to terms with a new diagnosis - lung metastasis. Today I was lucky enough to meet Judith and her daughter Jessica in person for the first time - at the National Gallery to see the stunning works of Leonardo Da Vinci. Its been a truly...
Another Plug
Just another post to remind everyone about my Dad and his work colleagues fund raising for Beating Bowel Cancer. It’s all about raising awareness and breaking the taboo about poo! Click here to sponsor them!
a message from my Dad…
Have you ever asked yourself “What’s the best thing or the worst thing that could happen” Well the best thing that happened to me was ...
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I hadn’t realized until I listened to the news today that the cause of my cancer is all my fault! It’s happened to me because I smoke, binge drink and I’m overweight… of course! Cancer doesn’t happen to healthy people… silly me. The news surrounding the causes of cancer has really angered me today. I hate how the media warp statistics for dramatic effect. I...
This is my Job.
It’s strange how some people think job title and wage packet are a measure of someone’s success… For me, it’s about happiness.
Even though I have cancer, I still feel judged by people because I don’t ‘work’ - to earn money. There have been many instances when this has come up in conversation, of which I won’t take the time to recite…and...
Team Decembeard! →
Following my post last week about Decembeard, my Dad and his work colleagues have decided to join forces and raise money for Beating Bowel Cancer. Have a look at their pages and show them your beard support!
if, buts and maybes
Looking around the waiting room of the Marsden on Wednesday, cancer is what we all have in common. People of all ages, from children to 70 - 80 year old men and women. All you can hear is a whisper of the same things…”if the treatment works…”, “but if they don’t operate…”, “maybe I can try something else…” A room full of people...
Decembeard! →
As of yesterday, Decembeard is here! Grow your facial hair to raise money and awareness for bowel cancer. Come on! If you do one of these facial hair growing fund raisers a month you’ll look like a yeti by this time next year! Girls aren’t excluded, think leg hair and arm pits… eugh.
