February 2012
24 posts
Trial Update
Just a brief update - the hospital rang yesterday and have booked me in on Monday to see one of the docs about my scan results. They’ll go over the details, I’ll have more blood tests & a contrast injected ultrasound, and then I’ll get a taxi over to St Georges in the afternoon for another echo scan and consult with the heart professor. If everything is good to go, I’ll...
Marble Arch - Arc de Triomphe →
Rich and two of his mates, Rob and Tom, are - MAD! Their plan? to cycle from Marble Arch (London) to Arc de Triomphe (Paris) in 24hrs. They plan to set out on Friday 27th April, taking a late night ferry from Dover - Calais where they’ll continue their ride throughout the night and into Saturday before reaching their destination in just 24hrs. Hopefully! …don’t worry boys, I have...
Glass Half Full!
Where to start?
Yesterday was Tuesday - it was a typical 9-5 day at the office… I had bloods taken in the morning, an examination by the doctor and a brief consultation. In the afternoon I had a CT scan and rounded off the day with an MRI.
Monday was a BAD day. I was so depressed that I couldn’t do anything. When I’m in this state of mind I worry and beat myself up about...
Something Special
About 5/6 years ago, one of my best friends bought me the book Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder. A couple of weeks ago he reminded me about it, and this weekend I managed to find it in amongst all my books in the loft… so I started reading it for a second time. It’s a pretty amazing book of philosophy. As I began reading, I recalled the moment I read a particular paragraph 5/6...
Return of the Pain
It was nice to be free of pain just after my first cycle of the trial drug. But over the last week, the shoulder pain I was originally experiencing pre-treatment, on the right side, has returned…with a vengeance. It’s what’s keeping me awake at night and is the reason why I feel so tired in the day time. I just want it to go away! when it’s here, it’s relentless.
I...
This morning's blog post, re-posted and now...
- the following got deleted earlier, but here it is again. It’s not often I get on my high-horse about social media or politics (never politics!) on my blog, because that’s not the point. But I couldn’t let this one slide…
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I caught the end of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings the other night. I wish I hadn’t - seeing as it’s sensationalist crap like every other...
You don't know until you try...
What a day.
It’s always a bad idea to put mascara on when it’s a hospital day… but I always do in the hope that it will encourage me NOT to cry. Alas, at this moment in time I resemble a beaten panda.
The cannula I needed for the ultrasound just wouldn’t go in. My veins have officially had it. They’re super hard, super sore and super stubborn…and I’ve had enough....
Fatigue.
Zzz… I seem to be falling asleep at any given moment over the last few days. I’m either totally exhausted or really quite bored! What ever it is, it’s annoying.
I guess what I’ve learned since I’ve been traveling up to the Marsden for treatments, scans and consultations - is that I’m really quite hard on myself. I push myself to the limit physically and...
I'm Home! and a bit about Hospice & Marathon's...
Thank you everyone for your texts and emails and general messages of support. I’m finally home! In 11.5 minutes I can take down my holter monitor and SHOWER. The excitement overwhelms me! …I requested that I came home with one cannula still in tact. That way I won’t have to go through it all again tomorrow - if it decides to give blood of course.
For now, I enjoy peaceful times....
Cycle 2 - Day 2
The last 24 hrs haven’t been without drama…
My original bloods cannula gave up the ghost at about 8pm last night. It was so sore being tugged in all directions - the nurses had to move it about incase it was sat on a valve. They tried to get blood from it, tugging it, hanging upside down, heat packs, Tourniquets, syringe pumping, the works. In the end I had a fat wrist where the...
Cycle 2 - Day 1
I was sat in day-care this morning with my arms elbow deep in buckets of warm water. Having enticed my veins to the surface I was cannulated in both arms. I cried, of course. It was traumatic, but once over I was relieved.
Treatment drug no.1 was infused at about 2pm - but due to pain in the vein, it had to be stopped, 3 times. My poor veins have taken such a beating…We finally got there...
High's & Low's
Apologies again to those who have been asking how things are going. I was in Bournemouth this weekend and I’ve actually been feeling a bit out of sorts the last few days. I haven’t been sleeping at all well in the last few months and the deprivation is starting to catch up with me. Despite feeling exhausted, anxiety and an over active mind is keeping me awake at night. The docs asked...
Doing All Right
I was almost jumping off of the table when the doc started pushing on my belly and my right side. My liver scar is big, it split open just after the surgery due to infection. It re-healed wider and deeper and has since split open and been packed twice due to the infected abscesses I had last spring. Because of its enormity, the nerves in the surrounding skin have been pretty much destroyed. I have...
Lucy's Marathon Mission →
My beautiful friend Lucy is going to run the Brighton Marathon in April. She is running in the hope of raising lots of money for the incredible Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice. They have supported and nursed me over the last two years and continue to do so every week. The Phyllis Tuckwell rely heavily on charitable donations, only 12% of their funding is from the NHS…and it costs £15,000 a day to...
January 2012
43 posts
Body Language
Another hospital day today! Bloods - good. Everything else - good.
One thing I’ve noticed about myself, in comparison to other patients - when the doc asks me how I am, I usually, quite honestly, say I’m fine. I don’t tell them every little bodily alteration - like aches and pains, sleepless nights, clicky knees or ear wax! These to me are just ‘normal’ things. I also worry that by informing them...
“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind; you will not...”
– my favourite bits from Baz Luhrmann’s Everybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen) The things I think every day. Nice one Nic x
All Kinds of Magic
I’ve been in hiding for the last few days…I’ve felt like I’ve needed some down-time and an opportunity to reflect on a couple of things. Last week was the two year marker on the colonoscopy that identified my primary bowel cancer, and the CT scan that revealed the secondary liver metastasis. Most days I can hardly believe what has happened over the last two years. Sometimes...
Peace
Yesterday was a good day, Richard and I were reunited with our ol’pal Nic once again. He’s been off sailing the world for the last two years (such a hard life ay Nic!?). In the last 24hrs we’ve had a good chin wag and a catch up and I’m just so happy that we were able to spend that time together - minus the food poisoning, sorry about that…
Aside from this I’ve...
Bowel cancer patients denied choice of treatment
Beating Bowel Cancer published a new analysis report today (Equity and Excellence for Bowel Cancer) in which the charity call for NHS hospitals that fail to offer bowel cancer patients a full range of clinically appropriate treatments to be hit with tough financial penalties.
Copied from the Beating Bowel Cancer website:
Mark Flannagan, Chief Executive of Beating Bowel Cancer said, “Every ...
All in a days work!
Firstly, Carla, my heart is with you today. I wish I had the words for you…but you know that I know. Lots of love to you beautiful lady x
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Thank you good friends who have been texting and emailing, I’m sorry it’s taking a while for me to get back to you individually. I haven’t been feeling too great over the last 24hrs. I’ve barely had any sleep which could be a...
Thank you Webber’s x7, Grandad, Molly and Si for a brilliant weekend. Just what the doctor ordered!
WatchI’m back from the hospital, bloods were painful but it’s over now and all is well. Home for the weekend :) I have a nice sense of freedom!
I’ve always been in to a bit of surfing action, and I especially love big wave movies. Watch this video, it’s breath taking. All images where shot by Chris Bryan using the Phantom HD Gold camera on August 27th 2011 at Teahupo’o, a small...
Yes, I'm Home!
The ward staff let me come home today, even though the 24 hr heart monitor was still connected. I had to wait until 3:30pm to take off all the wires etc - and finally, I could have an indulgent shower! bliss.
I’ll have to go back to the ward tomorrow for more blood tests, but for now I’m just happy to be home :)
With regard to the side effects of the drugs, so far, so good. Fatigue...
1 down 1 to go
Today has been a little bit better. Currently hooked up to the second drug, waiting for the infusion to end any moment. Hopefully I will be able to go home tomorrow for 24 hrs - returning Friday for more bloods and monitoring. Yesterday was so awful that it’s all become a bit of a blur. I was 99% ready to do a runner…I didn’t, but I’m still doubting my strength to...
No words.
I’m not in the best frame of mind to report on today. I don’t really have the words - I’m so utterly exhausted from all the stress, anxiety and pain. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do this. I’ll try and give it my best shot… my face is red raw from crying. I haven’t cried this much in a long time. I’m completely lost.
Mum has been my angel...
Take Two
I’ve been at the hospital all day… the blood tests were ultra painful this morning, much more sore than last weeks. All of the waiting around was due to paperwork! Because the treatment was cancelled last week, the consent forms I signed before Xmas are now out of date! I had to sign again. The UT infection has gone and all my tests were normal. If all goes according to plan, I...
Still Here, Still Hoping
It’s a year ago today that my oncologist delivered the news that despite all of the chemotherapy and multiple surgeries - the cancer had returned to my liver and spread to both of my lungs. A year ago today I was given a statistical 12 months to live. I’m still here and still fighting.
I don’t remember much about that afternoon, shock has a way of erasing certain parts of a...
Urine-trouble!
Is it weird that yesterday I drove a 90 mile round trip just to deliver a canister of my own urine? It was quite the deposit I must say! ahhhhh the joys of the human body. I have no dignity left, and I think I’m OK with that… seeing as my cancer revolves around my bowels, I mean, BOWEL (singular) and all.
I met up with one of the docs at the hospital to find out what the score is with...
Decembeard Update!
wow wow wow! The Stulz Beardy men have raised £3735 for Beating Bowel Cancer!! Nice one guys. I need a collection of beard images from 31st December - email them to me! Thank you to all the generous souls who have so kindly donated in support of an amazing charity. There’s still time to donate too Just click here.